A Gentle Guide to Noticing ‘Our Moments’
Download Our Moments Tracker (PDF 1.6mb)
Bonding does not always feel obvious. Sometimes it is quiet. Sometimes it is practical. Sometimes it is simply you showing up again and again. This guide is here to help you notice what may already be happening. Look out for these yourself, or ask others to notice for you,
Top 10 Small Signs Bonding May Be Building
- Your baby settles (even slightly) when you hold them.
- They turn toward your voice or face.
- You respond to their cry, even when you’re tired.
- You’re starting to recognise different cries or cues.
- You notice something new about them.
- They make brief eye contact with you.
- You adjust how you hold them to make them comfortable.
- You check on them without thinking about it.
- You feel relief when they settle.
- You keep showing up.
Sometimes it is hard to see bonding from the inside. You might ask a partner, close friend, family member, health visitor or group facilitator if they have noticed moments of connection between you and your baby. You could ask, “Have you noticed any times where we seem connected?” Other people often see gentleness, responsiveness and warmth that you may not yet feel. Their perspective can help validate what is already there.
There is no right way to record a moment. You might write a single word, a short sentence, draw a small symbol, add a heart, take a photo, or simply place a tick to say “we had something today.” It could be as simple as “Eye contact,” “She settled,” “Felt calmer,” or “We tried.” The format does not matter. What matters is noticing.
You may write something down and still not feel bonded. That does not mean a bond is not building. Bonding can grow through action before it grows through emotion. Looking back over small moments across a month can help you see what is difficult to feel day to day. You are allowed to grow into this.